Two things particularly struck me about This Is How It Always Is, that there are flat platitudes in nearly every chapter, and that it's absurd that Rosie had to go to Thailand to find the "middle path" of accepting Poppy.
Regarding the platitudes, it seems to work in that most of them are folded into the ongoing fairy tale that Penn makes up for bedtime, though some of them unfurl in the dialogue between Rosie and Penn about their uncertainties and failings in the raising and protection of Poppy. While there is no attempt to make this story truly about Poppy's perspective, she is briefly centered a few times and given the happy possibility of "not caring" about her genitals, and after she is outed, feeling that she is "nothing" and "nobody". Such stark realities for a little girl to reckon with, while having parents that battle about the correct course of action for her future. Rosie is determined to love Poppy no matter what happens, which is heartening, but then we get lines where it would be easier if he were a boy. I noticed that Frankel departs from a linear path when she is portending the outing, able to maneuver in time to relay an ominous event, and then ease back into where we were to keep us in step with the full development of the family.
I was both relieved for Poppy to be exposed to the cultural acceptance of transpeople in Thailand and a little annoyed that Rosie's medic assistant, K, had to explain to her how to accept the state of being that is being trans. Naturally, in a culture that believes in reincarnation, people see souls and embodiment differently than a culture that thinks we just have one shot and one afterlife. It reminded me of a tired trope of an Asian wiseman dispensing some ancient knowledge, (again with platitudes, in broken English no less) and enlightening the American lady who came to the East to bring her superior medical knowledge but ends up being schooled by these creative and adaptable poors. Poppy also had this moment in the school house where she was whimsically educated about Buddha's role in the culture, his redemption and transformation. While it was beautiful for Poppy to have this reprieve from the horrors of school, and get a chance to just be weird for being American and bald, it also seemed weird to remove her from her one safe space—her home and family, at this time of deep sorrow and reckoning for her.
I agree with some of Hilary's points: that it's always stiff for cis people to tell trans stories, and yet that it's the story of the parents of a trans child, the story wants to make remarkable the experience of this "accepting", while it should be anything but. I too was horrified by the Jane Doe scene, and Rosie's flattening of the risks for trans youth. Isn't it far more horrible and dangerous to live in the wrong gender?
I enjoyed many parts of this story, particularly the richness of the relationships between the children and the way their love is portrayed. Any trans child would be so lucky to have such a close and loving family. Frankel does a good job of making up believable and strong characters with full hearts. Even the moment that was least believable, the scene where Aggie has a change of heart in the bathroom at the dance, felt joyous because hers was the biggest betrayal. I look forward to trans stories with happy endings, that are authored by trans kids.
Booz,
ReplyDeleteOn many levels especially on the craft level, Thailand felt like a device too,. Just like Mr. Tongo. The points that were delivered to off-set the parents circular conversations had a lot of thick lines drawn around them (even Roo) So a question is, when we’re writing “hot” material, how much do we own in terms of multiplicity of perspective? I agree that the family interactions were dynamic. Teenage boys who are raising hell are lovingly seen-hmm. But fun.
So much to unpack
E
Hi Booz,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the way you articulate some of the problems with the Thailand portion of the book. It felt to me too like a device. But so much in this book felt like a device in service of a profound message. I suppose that's so many of our classmates also point out the moralistic/fairytale aspects of the story. I wondered about your final comments in the post. I took this book to be more about the parents--Poppy is certainly central to the story and it's her gender queerness that creates tension for the parents (which is bullshit and sucks), but it seems like it's primarily the parents who grow--or at least it felt that way to me. All this to say, I agree with your last point--trans stories authored by trans people are something to look for as opposed to trans stories authored by parents who center themselves in their children's stories.